


soft

by adequater



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9695729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adequater/pseuds/adequater
Summary: how do you turn a forest fire like me so soft, i turn into running water? - rupi kaur.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i miss jaemin. 
> 
> warning: i wrote this in an hour. ive been in sort of a slump these days. horribly unbeta'ed so forgive me for any gross mistakes.
> 
> oh! and happy birthday jaehyunnie. i love you

Mark remembers perfectly when it happened. Mark is not oblivious, much to contrary belief, thank you very much. He knows he has some sort of unsaid affections for Jaemin that the others try to not mention much. He knows that he pays attention to Jaemin the most, and it’s not just solely because he’s just looking out for Jaemin because of his waist injury. Nope. Jaemin just has that aura that Mark naturally gets attracted to, like a magnet and Mark is just a measly magnetic material that gets enthralled at everything Jaemin does.

 

It starts slowly, starting from noticing how good Jaemin looks when they have their rare nights out when they’re not holed up in their practice room, waiting for their comeback. Then, to somehow finding Jaemin absolutely gorgeous even when he is sweaty and gross as he lays on the wooden and shiny floor of their dance practice room, looking tired and worn out as he rasps out for water at Mark. It’s stupid, and Mark used to beat himself for looking at Jaemin differently from the other members. From finding Jaemin’s physical appearance gorgeous eventually leads to finding his tinkling laugh music to his ears, and somehow leading to find everything Jaemi does so fucking endearing. Mark remembers being so confused and having zero answers when it becomes so clear to him that he actually likes Jaemin.

 

Mark remembers the exact moment Jaemin barges into his room with Donghyuck, and he stands in front of Mark while Mark looks at him, star-struck, asking him to repeat the words he muttered again only for Jaemin to stomp his feet on the floor in annoyance, whining that Mark is just _teasing_ him at this point. Mark thinks he looks cute, and Mark gently asks again for Jaemin to repeat the words, and Mark hears it clearly this time. _I like you, hyung._ What was the first thing that comes into Mark’s mind, you wonder? It was something along the lines of profanities, a lot of screaming, and what. _I like you, hyung, and I know you like me too. Let’s date._ Jaemin says it so easily, and he looks at Mark so determinedly, like he knows what he wants, and he probably does, but it’s just so absurd to Mark because he has been beating himself for liking Jaemin all this time only for him to come barging into their room and asking his hand in dating.

 

Mark remembers the day after the confession. Mark wakes up with butterflies swarming in his stomach, and he is just about to blame indigestion when Jaemin comes out of his room and mutters good morning, softly poking Mark’s hip, that has Mark yelping, and Jaemin laughing at him. Mark remembers Jaemin planting a soft and small kiss on Mark’s neck secretly because that’s the unspoken agreement between the two, they have to hide it first before they reveal it to all of their members.

 

Mark remembers one of their alone time together at the practice ro. Jaemin’s parents are out working on Lunar’s New Year so Jaemin whines that there’s no use going back home to an empty house, but it would be a waste to spend their rare holiday just laying around to Mark after their practice when the members exit the room, with both of them laying on the centre of the room. Both of them agreed on cleaning the practice room every time they finish practicing just for the sake of spending more time together, and the members are probably rising some speculations at this point because no one voluntarily cleans, but they haven’t been asked any questions yet except for a few suspicious glances here and there from the ever so attentive Jeno and Donghyuck, so they’re okay. Why don’t you come with me to meet my family? Mark asks and he belatedly realises how weird and just _forward_ that sounds when Jaemin’s head that is resting on Mark’s chest snap up to look at him in surprise. _Really?_ He asks, his eyes hopeful and wide as he looks at Mark, and when Mark nods, Jaemin plants a kiss on Mark’s neck gleefully. Mark thinks Jaemin looks the best like this, happy, excited, and by his side.

 

Mark remembers the first time he and Jaemin fought, and how much he just hated it. He remembers getting irritated at everyone who just as much breathe near him because Jaemin, the most important person in his life, isn’t talking to him so why are people bothering him? The members, and especially the older ones must have noticed it, too because Taeyong-hyung keeps on looking at the two sceptically the whole two days they had not been talking until eventually it reaches the fourth day and both of them look like the hell dragged them back to back from being stubborn, and Taeyong asked them to fix whatever is broken.

 

Mark remembers Jaemin sitting with his legs crossed in front of him, apologising silently, and biting his lips desperately, looking small and vulnerable, which is something Jaemin never shows to anyone, and Mark feels blessed to be able to witness such scene. Mark remembers tackling Jaemin to his bed and peppering kisses all over his face, and saying sorry for whatever he did wrong, and to be honest, Mark doesn’t even remember how their whole fight started, he’s just glad he’s got his boyfriend back.

 

The first time Jaemin says the word to him is after their Weibo broadcast, and Jaemin asks for the sleepy Donghyuck to sleep in Jaemin’s room instead of his shared one with Mark just because Jaemin wants to sleep and cuddle with Mark, and Donghyuck just nods sleepily, on the verge of falling asleep in the car. It is when Mark’s head is already in the nook of Jaemin’s head, Jaemin smelling like fresh soap that they just bought, and Mark is just about to fall asleep with the hint of vanilla in his nose when Jaemin suddenly asks if he is awake. Mark grunts in response, and Jaemin moves slightly to get more comfortable. _I love you,_ Jaemin says, insecure of Mark’s reply but sure that he truly means it. Mark jerks awake and Jaemin looks back at Mark who is looking at him in shock, his insecurity visible on his bare face, and Mark feels like kissing him breathless. He does jus that after saying _of course I love you too._

 

Mark knows they can’t hide it forever. That’d be incredibly selfish, and Mark thinks it would be suffocating and toxic to hide their relationship like it was one of their dirty little secret when it’s not, and Mark wishes he can flaunt it around freely without being judged. Plus, Mark has a feeling if the members don’t find out for themselves, Jaemin would probably burst soon, so it’s a good thing that the members find out for themselves. Donghyuck barges in his shared room with Mark the day after, a day off since there are thankfully no music shows on Monday and they only have a practice later, and is greeted by the sight of Mark drooling on Jaemin’s shoulder, Jaemin resting his head on Mark’s head, and their finger intertwined in the little space between them. It’s easy for the others to find out when Donghyuck snaps a picture of them in their group pictures with the caption _who owes me 15,000 won._

 

 _They’re young_ , Mark reasons sometimes late into the night when his thoughts wander from song lyrics to some forbidden and restricted area he is trying to not think about. They’re young, and even if they break up, they have two choices: either to mend their relationship, or just break it off as it is and pretend the whole thing never happened because they would risk their group by acting like shits actually happened between them. They’re young, and dating boys is not wrong despite what anyone thinks. They’re young, and Mark thinks this is how loving someone so much feels, not like his old measly crushes on some girls he can barely recall the names of. They’re young, and sometimes Mark’s mind drifts to questions along the lines of will they last, or is this just some sort of teenage fling? They’re young, so fucking young.

 

They’re young, and Mark thinks as long as Jaemin is by his side, with the presence of his body heat, his hands attached to Mark’s, his angelic smile, his unexpected kisses, and witty comebacks, they would work. Everything would work as long as they have each other.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i love nct a lot.
> 
> i'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/nctkkum) if you wanna follow me! 
> 
> and i opened up a [curiouscat!!](https://curiouscat.me/adequater) if you wanna ask me questions hehe
> 
> also, i miss jaemin.


End file.
